I had been walking back and forth in front of the operating theatre so many times. I was so nervous and so worried, but also excited about the baby. I really didn't know what to do if something went wrong. Really I was worried more about Tai than the baby because she was very weak and so there was a higher chance for her to die. But it was possible that they both might have bad luck and couldn't make it. I have to admit that I was really scared about it; it was the last thing I wanted to happen right then.

Because I couldn't really keep still I kept bumping into people coming through the double doors. I felt annoyed that some of the nurses behind the counter told me to sit down and be quiet. They also told me to stop taking pictures every time someone opened the door. But you know what, I didn't care about that at all!

After I had been thinking and worrying for quite a long time, I finally heard a baby crying. I jumped up and down with excitement. I was pretty sure that the owner of that sound was my baby. I didn't know for sure but at least it made me feel so much better. All of the worried feelings I had were gone. What was left was only excitement.

A few minutes later, I heard footsteps and then the door opened. There was a nurse coming through the door. She was holding a baby wrapped in green cloth. I walked up to her without knowing for sure that the baby was mine. The nurse saw me and she said "This is the daughter of Miss Sarita, are you the father?"

I didn't listen to the whole sentence. As soon as I heard "Miss Sarita", I jumped with joy! I felt so relieved and was really happy. I wanted to shout aloud but I couldn't so I said to myself, "This is my baby, I have got a daughter!" Then I said to the nurse, "Yes, yes, I am the father of this baby. She is my daughter!!!!" She gave me a smile and said, "Follow me to the nursery."

The first time I saw my daughter's face was when the nurse and I were standing by the door outside the nursery. She was telling me not to go inside and not to touch the baby because it wasn't hygienic. I quickly replied to her saying that I understood. But really, I wasn't listening; I just wanted her to unwrap my daughter. I wanted to see and check that everything was fine. I admit that I sometimes smoked near Tai when she was pregnant so I was a bit scared.

The nurse slid the door open and went in to get a cot for my daughter. She pushed the cot towards the door and put my daughter down. I was so excited; I put my hands together and prayed inside my mind while the nurse was starting to unwrap the cloth. I stopped praying and bent down to take a closer look. My hands were shaking and my heart was pumping very hard. I think I could call it the most exciting moment in my life. I was really happy.

As soon as the cloth was unwrapped, the baby suddenly cried very loudly. I leaned closer. My eyes were filled full with tears while I said "Shhh don't cry OK? Please don't cry my little daughter". For nearly two minutes I stood there by the cot looking at her. I don't know why but I felt that I was there much longer. Maybe it was because I was memorizing every little part of her body. It was like I was there alone with my daughter and the world around me had stopped moving.

Then I suddenly remembered that Tai hadn't come out yet. I quickly thanked the nurse and went back outside to wait for Tai.

This story was originally published in the Bangkok Post.