Here I am watching the elephant show at the biggest crocodile farm in the world. I am here with my girlfriend. I am not really enjoying the show because I have seen it so many times before. We are patiently waiting for the show to finish so that my girlfriend can go and walk under the belly of an elephant. That’s the only reason we came here!

I read in a book that there are many things that a pregnant woman should do for good luck. Walking under an elephant is one of them. The elephant has to be kind and gentle. Thai people believe that if you do this, the baby will be easy to bring up. That would make it easier for my girlfriend and me to look after our baby.

Now I’d like to talk about some things that pregnant women should and shouldn’t do. I am just going to talk about some of them that I am interested in or some that shocked me or made me laugh. For example, the book I read said that pregnant woman shouldn’t go to visit another woman who is giving birth. It’s all because the baby in her womb might be embarrassed and refuse to be born!

I also remember reading that pregnant women think a lot, mostly about bad things. So she would feel upset easily and often. The man should go to see a monk or find a talisman and get her to wear it. This way she will feel protected and will stop thinking about bad things. I have already got talismans from my local temple and now my girlfriend and I are both wearing them.

There are many more things that I should tell my girlfriend not to do but there are two things I really don’t understand. It is said that pregnant women shouldn’t sit or stand in the doorway or stop on the stairs while walking up or down. I was curious so I went to ask my mum and asked her if that is true or not. She said that it’s true. She also heard it from her mum when she was pregnant. I asked her why? But she said that she doesn’t know; it is a thing that was passed on from one generation to the next and most people have forgotten the reason why!

The elephant show is still going on. I am trying to remember if my girlfriend should walk under the elephant three times in a clockwise or anti-clockwise direction. I decide to ask a middle-aged woman who is sitting next to me. She thinks about it for a while and then replies she is not sure. So I phone my mum. She says she is not sure as well but she thinks that it is anti-clockwise. I also ask her if she walked under an elephant when she was pregnant with me. She replied that she didn’t. Now I know why I am a problem child!

At last the boring show is finished. The biggest elephant is standing on two stools and people are walking under her in an anti-clockwise direction. Now I know which way I should get my girlfriend to walk!

I am holding my girlfriend’s hand and walking towards the elephant. Tai is starting to be scared of the elephant and refuses to walk under it. So I tell her that I am going to do it with her. Then we are walking under the elephant together holding hands. I am feeling very happy. It is a wonderful thing to do with my pregnant girlfriend.

After we finish, we walk back to the car and go back home. In the car, I ask her how she feels. She replies that she feels very well and happy. She then asks me to take her to Suan Siam to swim next time. She says that swimming is good for pregnant women too. I promise her that I will take her there soon!

This story was originally published in the Bangkok Post.